I’ve been meditating on the word hope lately.  There are so many people struggling with life out there finances, jobs, relationships, emotions and just fear in general.  So much fear… I have always had a deep and abiding faith Christ, even as a child.  I know that this faith is a gift from God now that I have lived life a bit and can see my sunset, hopefully from a distance.  I desperately miss my beloved but I have hope that I will see him again.  Some days the pain of separation is so great I truly do feel like I’m in the middle of a soul shattering earthquake.  More days than not my emotions are better and I can feel the hope.  I’ve had to wear big girl pants most days now and can’t afford to allow myself the luxury of too many pity parties or a slide into depression. 

My truck had a dead battery and I need to transport a new swarm capture.  (Moving bees in the passenger compartment is not recommended!)  The timing was not good; it never is, especially when dealing with wild animals and insects.  The pressure of a daily schedule, of the need to pick up my new capture, the help that wasn’t helpful and enough clutter from a busy life and schedule almost did me in.  I sent the “help” away and still wearing my big girl pants got the truck started, late, but start it did.

Today is a new day, I drove the truck, have nothing scheduled tonight and will pick up the bees after work!  I woke up this morning with a scripture reference running through my head.  I do not have tons of scripture memorized, I don’t beat people up with a Bible or any religious book so I was surprised that Galatians 3:9 would not go away.  I was clueless what it was so, I looked it up.  “So then those who are of faith are blessed.”

Hope, could that be the shield against today’s anxieties and depressions.  Faith, trusting that God is still in control as America (and myself) are not.  I am truly a blessed woman, counting my blessings and looking at the full glass (it is never really half full) overflowing, pressed down for full measure.  It’s spring and the promise of forgiveness and renewal can be seen everywhere.  Now that I have been relocated to an inside office and lost my big picture window to the world, I go outside every day, close my eyes and lift my face to the sun.  My doctor said it was good for me!  It is!  Be kind and gentle to yourself my blogging friends, you are the best friend you will ever have.  Where is your hope?  I challenge you to do some senseless kind thing for yourself and for one other person each day.  No matter how small or how great, to quote Nike, just do it.

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Filed under Bees, Grief, Stress Reduction, Uncategorized

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