Exhausted But Still Writing

July was a good month, writing wise. It was my second attempt at writing 50,000 words in one month this year. I signed up for the April Camp NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and succeeded in writing 30,000 words, that’s 30K more than I would have written with no effort. May and June were busy personal months with my home undergoing repairs, clearing out my beloved’s robotic “scraps” and learning to live without him. July 1 rolled around and I decided to push for that 50K again! I made it! The last 20,000 words look pretty slushy, weak plot flow, and underfed ideas.
But fear not! One of the prizes for achieving the 50K is a very low cost copy of Scrivener software. It has a nice index card or “cork board” feature that will help my major problems. My female protagonist is still an undefined, barely visible ghost of a character. She is not a ghost so this needs some real work. Once I develop more character depth and the plotline flows smoother, I think I might be closer to 80K length and have a respectable novel and then the real editing begins. One of the things I have learned from NaNoWriMo is to turn off the inner editor and just go for it. I am a technical writer during the day so this is an extremely difficult thing for me to do. The bottom line here is that I achieved the 50K!
My birthday is the first of August so I celebrated by going out to dinner and a movie with a friend. I didn’t want a lot of hoopla about my birthday and my friend didn’t know it was my birthday. I really just wanted something very quiet to spend alone with memories of my beloved. I bought one of those cake slices for two, chocolate for my beloved of course, and filled a cut crystal mug with milk. I watched the sun go down from my back patio. The day ended with cake and reflection of wonderful memories. I feel so blessed to have been loved by such an exceptional man and to have loved him in the few short years he had. He believed in me and my writing ability when no one else did. He continues to give me strength because of that belief and love. I am so glad that he had a personal relationship with Jesus and I will see him again with my other treasures in heaven.
Now, on to my next writing goal. A new idea, a new book, 50,000 more words and the November official National Novel Writing Month. I am fundraising to attend the Night of Writing Dangerously at the Julia Morgan Ballroom in San Francisco’s Financial District. The theme is film noir and costume is not required but oh so appreciated. A successful November will mean I have written well over 130,000 words this year for myself. šŸ™‚
If you would like to help send me to a full night of writing…. http://www.stayclassy.org/TessaBertoldi Investing in myself is something I am still getting used to.

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Filed under Grief, Writing

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