Mortality

Sorry for the break in posts. A few weeks ago I was arguing with God about my own mortality. The two men I have loved most in this world and who loved me, mostly unconditionally, have gone to be with their maker. (my Dad and my Beloved) I do not fear death, I do not seek it, but the fear is in the how and not the why or when. I have been very ill and the rampant infection in my throat threatened to completely close off my ability to breathe. Three trips to the emergency, $1,500.00 in co-pays, several prescriptions and a lot of sleep later, I am on the road to recovery.
Obviously, God did not see any validity in my arguments to just take me now. I have a fire insurance policy (that pre-paid free salvation plan provided by Jesus). I have a high tolerance for pain but, this was beyond my ability to handle.
I have a new understanding for the folks in my life that suffer with chronic pain. It takes a very special person to be able to function with constant severe pain.
My remodeling efforts have been put mostly on hold until I can build my immune system and stamina back up. About all I manage day to day is taking care of my own basic needs, tending the chickens (picking up the eggs) and the cats. Thank heavens the bee’s can take care of themselves for a few weeks, I’m praying the wax moths died out in the drought and won’t find them!
I wanted to finish up the cement work out front and end the mudworks. I’m 1/3 of the way through preparing the first floor for new hardwood flooring. The patio needs to be torn up (overhead is causing water damage to the wall and the cement is all cracked). I need two windows replaced and the eves cut back (head bangers). Oh, and the drainage pipe is plugged about 20′ in. That is a must before heavy rains. I guess God wants me to finish up some of these projects before I’m done with this temporary home. My daughter certainly votes for the finish category! I’m thinking broke just writing this list.
I have to constantly do something; it’s hard for me to sit still, even if I need to in order to get better. This week my main agenda will be paper destruction. Those little piles of paper that seem to collect everywhere in my house. I swear they mate and reproduce at night!

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Filed under Grief, Life Lessons

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